Category Archives: Love

Love honours difference and does not compare; love is secure

Posted on February 17, 2012 by Abby| 4 Comments

By Faith Rawley

‘Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others; it is not self-seeking’ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

I think unknowingly whenever I have read this verse I have usually considered the traits of envy, jealousy and pride to be the worst of the ones described in this passage and I’d not easily admit to being envious or jealous, prideful or boasting…..is that proud to say?! But I do fall into the trap of comparing myself with other people a lot of the time and I’m starting to realise that actually comparison can be the root of these other traits.

I do look at other people and their situations often secretly wishing that I was more like them.  If only my body looked more like hers, if only I had the job that they do, had more money, a bigger house, newer clothes then I’d be happier.  Or even worse I look at people and say to myself, ‘well at least I’m not like them…’ (I’ll let you fill in the blanks of what might finish that sentence!)  Comparing ourselves starts us on the track of feeling envious of what another person has or it makes us boast in what we have compared to another person.

One area I started to notice that I was comparing myself to others was in the area of gifts in the church.  I would often look at other people’s gifts – the pastoral gift, the gift of song writing and the prophetic gift – and I wished that these came more naturally to me.  I felt second best because I didn’t have these more important seeming abilities.  I overlooked what God has gifted me with and didn’t value the unique gifts He had given to me.  Also because I saw certain gifts as more important than others, I devalued gifts that to me seemed to be less significant, like hospitality and serving and prayer, and I sometimes overlooked the people with these gifts.

By allowing God’s love to fill my heart and address the insecurities and wrong mind-sets I was able to find security in knowing that I am exactly the way He has made me to be.  In learning how to appreciate myself I started to appreciate the differences in other people as well.  I began to see that we each walk a different path through life…one way is not better or worse than another just different.

God’s love filling our hearts helps us to honour who we are and to honour who God has made others to be without feeling the need to compare ourselves.  If I could rewrite this verse I’d write it like this: ‘Love honours difference and does not compare; Love is secure.’  

 

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Posted in Faith Rawley, Focus Fridays, Love, Love, Power to change

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Come Away , My Beloved

Posted on February 13, 2012 by Abby| 12 Comments

By Mary Bea Miller

I would like to share a devotion that has blessed and comforted me for many years. It is written like a love letter to us from the Lord.  It is titled, “The Call of Love”, from a book called  “Come Away, My Beloved” by Frances J. Roberts

(I have updated some of the old-fashioned language.)

 “O My beloved, abide under the shelter of the lattice—for I have betrothed you to Myself, and though you are sometimes indifferent toward Me, My love for you is at all times as a flame of fire.

My ardor never cools.

My longing for your love and affection is deep and constant.

Do not wait any longer, looking for an opportunity to have more time to be alone with Me.  Take it, though you leave the tasks at hand.  Nothing will suffer.

Things are of less importance than you think.

Our time together is like a garden full of lowers, whereas the time you give to ‘things’ is as a field full of stubble.

 I love you, and if you could slow down enough to feel My heartbeat, you would discover many things, the knowledge of which would give you the sustaining strength you so desperately need.

 I bore your sins

 And I wish to carry your burdens.

I will give you the gift of a light and merry heart.  My love bower is the place where you shall find it, for My love dispels all fear and is a cure for every ill.

Lay your head upon My breast and lose yourself in Me. You shall experience resurrection life and peace; the joy of the Lord shall become your strength; and wells of salvation shall be opened within you.

 

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Love is Kind

Posted on February 10, 2012 by Abby| 3 Comments

By Kathi Kelly

Love is a verb, it must be done; kindness is an expression of this love that flows from the heart of the Father. God is love, God is kind.

“Love talked about is easily ignored but love demonstrated is irresistible.” Jim Mooney

Kindness speaks volumes. It opens doors; it breaks down walls; it builds others up and makes them feel appreciated and valued; it brings hope; it softens the heart and ministers to the soul; it can improve someone’s life for a moment, for a lifetime or anywhere in between.

Some people just seem to exude kindness; it comes so naturally to them. Others of us really have to work at it which takes effort, thought and intent. For me thoughtfulness and kindness go hand in hand.

There are many verses in the Bible that focus on kindness. It is from an understanding of the kindness that God has shown us that the same kindness can flow through us.

Psalm 145:17, “The Lord is righteous in everything he does; he is filled with kindness.”

Ephesians 1:7-8, “He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of His Son and forgave our sins. He has showered His kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.”

The Holy Spirit at work within us produces kindness and God commands us to show it to one another:

Proverbs 3:3, “Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart.”

Ephesians 4:32, “Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you.”

2 Timothy 2:24, “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, to be able to teach and be patient with difficult people.”

Wow, that last verse is quite a challenge! “Be kind to EVERYONE.”  How many of us can say that we’ve got that down? I’ve heard it said that it’s easier to be kind to strangers and that we can often neglect to show kindness to those closest to us. Others have said that it’s easiest to show kindness to their friends. One thing is clear; the kindness we are to show is inclusive of all people.

So what does kindness actually look like? Here are a few ideas – smiling at a stranger on the bus; encouraging someone with kind words; looking after a friend’s children (even when you already have a few of your own!) so that they can run an errand, work, or have some ‘me’ time; welcoming new neighbours with a plate of freshly baked biscuits; visiting a neighbour who is sick; cooking a meal for a family who have just had a baby; doing laundry for an elderly couple; arranging a surprise trip for your family; sending a care package to someone on mission in a faraway country or to a student who is away from home; taking time to pray with someone who is sick or in a difficult situation; paying for the petrol or coffee of the person behind you in the line; leaving love notes all over the house for your children or spouse; cooking a meal for your parents; cleaning the house of a very busy person; comforting someone who is bereaved. There are so many ways we can express the love and kindness of God, we just need to keep our eyes, ears and hearts open.

Will you pray this prayer with me today?

Thank you Father for your kind heart towards me and the ways that you express your love to me each day. Lord, help me to show your love and kindness to everyone that I come into contact with. Help me to live a life of kindness with the Holy Spirit helping me daily. Guide me and give me creative ideas of how to reach out to people, to see and meet their need or to just bless them, and when to do it. Help me to put others before myself and may kindness become more and more a part of who I am. Amen.

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Posted in Focus Fridays, Giving, Kathi Kelly, Love, Love

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Love is patient – really!

Posted on February 3, 2012 by Abby| 6 Comments

By Jenn Riegel

I think it’s kind of funny the way some believers get almost superstitious about asking God for patience – “oh, you know what happens when you pray for patience – God gives you plenty of opportunities to practice it!” But really, I think it’s like the quirky thing that happens when you like a certain thing and you start noticing it more throughout your day. There wasn’t an overnight influx, it’s just that you’re more aware of what’s always been there. Patience is the same way. It’s not that there’s suddenly more frustrating circumstances when we’re really wanting to be self-controlled and kind, we’re just much more aware of our impatience.

That’s a critical pivot in our understanding of the first characteristic of love. See, when we’re lacking patience – when we’re impatient, it’s because we had certain expectations about a person or situation that suddenly weren’t met. I expected my daughter to get ready for bed when I asked. She didn’t. My expectation wasn’t met, and now my patience has evaporated and I’m impatient. Very. I think “Seriously? Do we have to do this run-around every night?” I might even wonder if she’s a little “slow” that she hasn’t grasped this concept yet (what an ugly thought!) My expression changes, my voice changes, my posture changes. I might huff an annoyed sigh, walk a little heavier to show I really mean it – I’m annoyed!

Impatience, what love is not, affects our whole self – mind, body and spirit. It’s good and appropriate for me to set the standard that my daughter will obey and grow in learning to take care of herself and to do so in a timely manner. But if my expectation for her to meet that standard is disappointed, impatience flares up in the wake of those dashed expectations. In my impatience I do not love her well – inwardly or outwardly.

Impatience is a battle for your mind. It is a red flag, warning you to pay attention. When you’re impatient, ask yourself “What expectations do I have that are not being met?” And don’t stop there. “Is this expectation going to be met like I want it?” When the expectation is released, suddenly we find ourselves swimming in patience – in love.

I really don’t think it’s coincidence that Paul lists patience as the first distinction of what love IS. Because without patience – letting go of our expectations that can make us impatient – all other aspects of love are short-lived. Go down the list in 1 Corinthians 13 and consider what happens, how quickly we become unkind, rude, self-seeking, how easily provoked, how weak and impatient we are to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things and endure all things, when disappointed expectations are clutched on to and we become impatient. Patience – being able to let go of expectations that can make us impatient, is foundational to love.

When I consider this contrast of patience and impatience, I think of 2 Peter 3:9, “The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people’s conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance” (Amplified). We know that His patience extends far beyond our salvation. He is extraordinarily patient for us in the whole of our lives! He never once lowers His standard for us – sins paid for and a life being sanctified. How freeing and beautiful to know He is patient with me, and not impatient. Wow, what enduring love! When I really see and accept God’s patience for me, I see the way to let go of my expectations in any given circumstance and legitimately live in love that is lasting, because patience is finally found.

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Weakness, Love

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Abby| 4 Comments

By Sarah Schmidt

This last weekend I was preparing for a party with my siblings. We’ve been in the middle of some home improvements and so cleaning up the house was a pretty big effort. With a couple of hours to go, my husband told me I should go lie down for a while. I had wanted to, but was feeling the pressure to make everything perfect. I listened to him and immediately fell asleep for a half hour. Weakness.

Earlier this week, I’d had a busy day with volunteering at school and working on things at home. I had made dinner and as my husband and I were sitting at the table talking with the children as they finished their dinner, I fell asleep sitting at the table. Weakness.

It’s not that I don’t get enough sleep. Well, I probably don’t, but not so little that I should fall asleep at the dinner table. No, I have a health condition that means that I tire easily and quickly. I’m fine while I’m doing what I need to do, but then I crash. Sustained physical and social activity can be so draining that I simply have nothing left. It’s not uncommon for me to be asleep in a chair when I should be making dinner. Weakness is my constant companion. I fought it for a long time, denying its hold on me. I still do – I stay up too late, I try to fit too many things into one day, one week. But the weakness never leaves me. I can run, but I cannot hide; it will find me and leave me incapable of functioning, sometimes when I least want it to.

But weakness is not my only companion. On this journey of life, grace is with me also. Every single day, I think of this passage of Scripture:

And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me; but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor. 12:7-10)

On reading this, I have to admit that my first thought is “Really, St. Paul? You asked only three times?” But I have had to face weakness. And not only to face it, but be grateful for it. And not only to be grateful for it, but to boast in it. Because truly, I cannot do this “life” thing on my own. Other women can put up a good front and look like SuperMom. Not me. I fail way too often to put up any pretense of being strong. But amazingly, I have come to see my weakness as a gift.  My life would not be possible without the help and sacrifice of my family, my friends, my neighbors. My weakness is an opportunity for others to serve without any expectation of receiving something in return. There are many nights when my husband cleans the kitchen, even after he has worked all day at a sometimes difficult and stressful job. My children are learning that if they help out, I have energy to read a bedtime story. My mom picks the kids up from school and my neighbor welcomes them over to play on the weekend so they get out of the house and I have some quiet while I try to catch up on the things I wasn’t able to do during the week.

Sometimes it’s hard, though. I get frustrated with myself and I’ve been frustrated with God. I’ve asked Him, “How could You let this happen? I can’t even take care of my family!”

And the answer that always comes during that particular temper tantrum is

Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)

Gratefulness and faithfulness. Doesn’t it always come down to those two things? And really, it comes down to one more thing: Love. I believe that God loves me and that He loves my husband and my children. So if He has allowed this trial to be in our lives, and if it tests our faith, it is allowed in order to produce steadfastness and faithfulness. And we can choose whether to let it have its full effect. What is that full effect? That His strength may be made perfect in our weakness. When one of my children can’t do something, I smile and ask, “Can I help you?” And I love to help my children. My helping my child makes us both feel good. I think God feels the same way. His desire is to save us, not to hurt us, and so our weakness is an opportunity for us to ask Him, “Will you please help me?” And He does. He gives me grace to get up and do it all over again the next day. He gives my husband grace to love me, even when he can’t find clean trousers. He gives my children grace to hug me and tell me that I’m the best mom ever, even when I know that’s totally not true. All that is Love, isn’t it? God is Love and He shows me His power every day, not in spite of my weakness, but because of it. So I will glory in and boast of and be grateful for my weakness because in it I see the power of Love. Glory to God for ALL things.

Sarah is married to Mr. Wonderful (aka Rob), has three awesomely creative kids and an overly energetic dog. She loves books, coffee, food, books and oh yeah, the husband and kids. And books. She spends her days caring for said husband and kids, occasionally volunteering at school, and is trying to simplify her home so she doesn’t have to clean so much. She has a congenital heart defect and had a heart attack in 2006. She grew up in the evangelical church, wandered around for a while and finally landed in the Eastern Orthodox Church in 2001, where she has been quite happy being a bad Orthodox Christian ever since. 

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Feeling Needy?

Posted on January 11, 2012 by Abby| 20 Comments

By Wendy Hitchen

Whilst watching a TV programme recently, a phrase jumped out at me, spoken by a vicar to her women’s group. She said… “Be needy women.” She was reinforcing the importance of needing each other’s company, of sharing hearts and ideas, joy and sorrows, experiences and aspirations.

I have thought on this time and again over the past few weeks, challenging myself on the importance, no, necessity of needing company, sharing, friends. I think that this 21st century world that we live in expects us to be self-sufficient, independent, capable individuals, who can handle anything alone. Anything less is seen as weakness or an inability to live as we ‘should’. THIS IS A LIE!!

We were not created to live a solitary life, we were created for relationship.
Ultimately for a relationship with the Father and Creator of all. But we were also
created to live in relationship with one another. For our relationships shape who we are, help us through the tough times, share in the joyous times.

‘And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but
encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.’
Heb 10:24-25

I am realizing that I really NEED these relationships around me – I need my husband, my family, my church, my homegroupies, my friends, my colleagues, my neighbours. When times are tough I need them even more! However when times are tough it is easy to forget that and keep myself to myself when really I should be opening up to these people even more. They are often the ones who point me to my heavenly Father and help me to regain perspective.

And on the flip side, isn’t it great to feel needed? To find that when one of your
friends is finding life hard, that you can help? Often words aren’t necessary, just
being there, listening, cooking a meal etc can be enough. And to share in the happy times too -  their joys, their dreams, their hopes. It’s a privilege and an honour.

If we are not careful, we are in danger of trying to be so ‘perfect’ that we become
self-sufficient and forget the importance of needing others. I don’t want to fall into this trap – I’d rather have a more messy life but with people around me.

This year, my challenge is…to be a needy woman.

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Posted in Love, Relationships, Wendy Hitchen

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The only thing we really need to remember in the new year…

Posted on December 30, 2011 by Abby| 2 Comments

By Abby King

One of the more unique gifts I received for Christmas was this:

It’s a ‘make-your-own Christingle kit.’ The Church of England use these things as symbols around this time of year to help us remember what is really important.

The orange stands for the world. The candle symbolises Jesus, the Light of the World.

The red ribbon (or strawberry lace, in this case!) reminds us of the blood Jesus shed.

Finally, the dried fruit and sweets are symbolic of God’s provision and creation.

And there it is, the Christingle. A simple, yet profound reminder to keep Jesus, His light, love and provision, at the centre of our world.

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Posted in Abby King, Advent, Holidays, Hope, Love

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Win Some Crazy Love!

Posted on December 8, 2011 by Abby| Leave a comment

Over the last couple of days, Lanie and Niki have talked about how they were inspired and challenged by a book called Crazy Love. 

If you enjoyed their posts and are tempted to read it for yourself, you have the opportunity to do so, courtesy of Completely Devoted. Winning a free copy couldn’t be easier…

First, make sure you have entered your email address to your right to sign up as a subscriber, so you can receive updates when we post something new. Second, get commenting! This month’s book winner will be the subscriber who leaves us the most comments between now and January 1st.

We’re excited to see who wins! It could be you!

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Quick to Listen

Posted on September 13, 2011 by Abby| 7 Comments

By Wendy Hitchen

My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get  angry. James 1 v 19.

Do you ever find yourself going to church on a ‘mission,’ with an agenda to accomplish? Recently I’ve realised that one of my agendas is nothing to be proud of. Lets call it my ‘Sunday hit list.’

On a Sunday morning I often compile a mental list of people that I ‘need’ to speak to. It sounds legitimate, but I have recently been convicted of how selfish it might be. My focus is working down the list and checking each person off. Too often that means that I am quick to speak, slow to listen.

Frighteningly, it gives little space for those who may actually need me to listen to them. Listening might involve very little talking on my part and may mean that the list cannot be checked off. In fact, some weeks it might mean spending all my time listening to one person that isn’t even on my list! 

Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. Phil. 2:3-4.

The godly women that I look up to are all great listeners. That’s one of the things that marks them out. They always have time for me and don’t make me feel stupid when I start pouring out my heart. They make me feel special and give time to our conversations. Quality time. They certainly don’t have an agenda. These women know what it is to listen, and in doing so they impact my liife.

My desire is to be a really good ‘listener’. Now I know that it won’t happen overnight, but I do have a great teacher- my Father is the ultimate listener. He listens to me endlessly. He puts up with my moans and groans, my rants and raves and my half constructed sentences. And He never says a word out of turn. Focusing on Him is the best way to take the focus off myself and my agenda, learning from His example as I relate to those He puts into my path.

So I’m going to begin this Sunday. With His help I want to to forget ‘hit lists’ and instead to focus on listening. Then, and only then, do I want to open my mouth and speak the words that He helps me to speak.

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Posted in Love, Power to change, Wendy Hitchen, Words

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Maintaining a soft heart

Posted on September 6, 2011 by Abby| 10 Comments

By Beth Hamstra

When I was a wee little girl, God really truly saved me.  I remember making it my goal in children’s church to sit quietly and absorb as much as I could.  Well, maybe I was also highly motivated by the “picture of George Washington” that my teachers posted in front reminding us that one little boy or girl would receive the “quiet seat prize” at the end of the service.  I probably didn’t excel in my social skills, but there were many weeks that I walked away from church one dollar richer—and having learned valuable lessons about the Bible and godly living.

One of those lessons has stuck with me to this day.  I remember my teacher using a clump of Play-Doh as an illustration of our hearts.  The Bible says in Ezekiel 36:26 that God promises to take our heart of stone and give us a heart of flesh.  What was once hard as a rock became soft and pliable when Jesus saved us.  She walked around the classroom and let some of us touch the Play-Doh to experience how moldable it was.

The next part of her illustration is what got me.  She explained that even though Jesus gave us a soft heart, it is possible to allow it to harden again.  She pulled out a candle and placed the Play-Doh near the flame.  I touched it again…not so soft this time.  It was slowly drying out.  The closer and longer it stayed by the flame the harder and less moldable the Play-Doh became.  As we stay responsive to the Holy Spirit our hearts stay soft, but every time we choose to disobey its like putting our hearts by the flame…they become harder and harder.  When we are first saved we are able to hear a still small voice and respond to his promptings.  Eventually, however, if we allow our hearts to become calloused by disobedience, we won’t even hear the loudest most obvious call for our attention.

I decided that day that I wanted to maintain a soft and pliable heart.  There have been many times that I have waked in the middle of the night and heard his voice calling me to prayer.  Sometimes it is something specific he has laid on my heart; sometimes I just see myself pacing and praying in another room of the house.  Each time I decide either to get out of bed or to roll over and hope he might prompt me again after my alarm goes off.  Each time, I become more sensitive to his voice or more calloused.

Sometimes he speaks to me in the middle of the day.  I’ll feel prompted to encourage someone on Facebook or to send someone a book or to choose discipline instead of sin.  Sometimes I’ll be mid-sentence in conversation with a friend and He reminds me not to gossip.   Each time I have an opportunity to stay soft or to grow hardened. I’m so thankful that his mercies are new every morning!

Today, over twenty years after that illustration in children’s church, I could tell you a slew of stories of both obedience and disobedience, but I’ve continued to make it my goal to obey when I hear God speak.

I am encouraged by Jesus’ words in John 10:4b-5:

“…his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”

And so, I encourage you to cultivate a listening ear and maintain a soft heart.  When you hear his voice, instantly obey.  Don’t worry…you WILL recognize it.  Don’t delay in responding.

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Posted in Beth Hamstra, Kingdom of God, Love, Seeking God

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