Category Archives: Forgiveness

Debts Owed!

By Carole Rawley

The stone bench was hard and cold. As he looked up all he could see were walls closing him in. He hung his head in despair. He had this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was never going to see daylight again. Never….

As he sat there, he tried to recall the sequence of events that brought him here. For months he had been weighed down by guilt and shame. He owed his master so much money that he never any chance of repaying it. When it had been calculated it worked out at about 20 years wages! It was impossible! His master had ordered that he and his family to be sold into slavery so his debt could be paid.

In the prison cell, at this moment, his shame overwhelmed him and he felt physically sick.

How could he have let this amount build up? He knew the answer even as he was asking the question – he had been indulgent and wasteful. He had been greedy and manipulative. He only had one way out  – he had begged his master for mercy.

And he miraculously gave it!

He couldn’t describe the sense of relief and emotion at that moment when he realized his family were saved and that he would be given a second chance. The weight lifted off his shoulders at that moment and he walked out of the room with such joy in his heart, he thought he would burst.

And then he rounded the corner!

He had bumped into that little squirt who owed him money. Why hadn’t he kept his mouth shut? But as usual, his arrogant self ploughed in and demanded that he was paid. He tried to blot out what happened next but the memories were as vivid as when it happened.  There was a struggle which ended up with his hands around his neck. He hadn’t wanted to hurt him; just frighten him. Everything escalated out of control and he had grown so angry that he’d used his power to have him thrown in jail.

Now the tables were turned. And he was sitting here locked up……

Why hadn’t he joined the dots?

‘I am forgiven and released from the debt I could not pay, only to demand payment of a debt owed to me.’

Why hadn’t he connected the two?

The look on his Master’s face when he found out what he’d done was one he would never forget.

Just then, he heard heavy footsteps outside his cell, the key turning in the lock. The door was flung open and two guards stood there. They did not look friendly………

(Matthew 18: 21-35)

God has forgiven us ALL our sin; past, present and future.

What right do we have not to forgive others who have caused us pain, anguish, lack of peace, heartache, fear…..?

We might not physically try to beat them up, but we do in our minds! It might give us short term relief but our hearts will remain bitter.

Bitter roots remain in hearts where minds sustain and feed them.  When my parents divorced, I was very bitter and angry towards them. I saw them with eyes of pain and deep hurt. I knew I needed to forgive them but had no strength to do so.  One day, as I was praying, I asked God to let me see them through His eyes, not mine.

And everything started to change!

He showed me their own pain, their challenges, their insecurities – and also His overwhelming love for them. I started to let go of the bitter thoughts and receive God’s healing in my wounded heart.

I am forever grateful that God’s power is at hand to help us forgive those who have offended us and release them from the debt they owe. In doing this, we are truly free.

Every Wednesday we’ll be considering a practice related to our body, soul or spirit to help us completely devote ourselves to Jesus.

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We Choose How We Want To Live

By Faith Rawley

I like to think of myself as a forgiving person.  I don’t often get mad at people and I can usually see both sides of every story, which helps in having a balanced perspective on why people act the way they do, especially when this causes hurt to someone else.

But recently God has been putting his finger on the way I act towards people who have hurt me, the kind of hurt that feels almost intentionally thoughtlessness or insensitive.  I find myself easily feeling emotions of betrayal and rejection and I have been surprised at how easily I can get deeply hurt.  The problem is that because I’ve felt that the hurt is justified and that I’m right to feel the way I do, I’ve then ‘reacted’ to these people out of the hurt.  I’ve withheld love because the hurt tells me ‘they don’t deserve your love anyway’ and ‘it’s their fault that you feel like this.’ But in acting this way I am adding to the mess that has already been created.

God has really challenged me that I cannot use situations of hurt to justify my own negative reactions or to think it’s acceptable to withhold love from those around me.  God has given me free choice and in that I can decide how I want to live everyday.  If I choose to live based on circumstances, situations or even other people’s mistakes I’m not really living freely, but I’m chaining myself to other people’s choices and decisions, whether pure or faulty.  But this isn’t what God has intended.

So what choice do we have?  We can’t live independent from others.  God designed us to live and work and function in community and therefore our lives aren’t completely our own to be lived in isolation, even though this may feel safer.  In an ideal world we could trust people to not hurt us but we know from experience this doesn’t always happen.

So this is where my free choice does come into play.  It’s my choice not to ‘react’ negatively towards people who have ‘reacted’ out of their own hurt towards me.  If I react, the cycle just keeps going on and on and I continue to hurt people because I have been hurt. But if I can choose to ‘respond’ properly I exercise the freedom God has given to me and I break the cycle of hurt in a relationship.

I recognize that so many times I have blamed people for hurting me and this has developed into a bad attitude because of the situation.  But my responsibility is to take any hurts to God and love regardless of the pain.  This definitely isn’t easy and requires a large amount of grace, strength and vulnerability but I do want to walk this path.

Father, please forgive me for holding offence, disappointment and rejection in my heart.  Bad reactions are never justified because of other’s mistakes and I repent for acting as though I am right to feel that way.  You have forgiven me, how can I not forgive others?  Teach me daily to walk in your grace, strength and vulnerability and every day choose to ‘respond’ and not ‘react.’

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