Category Archives: Love

Love honours difference and does not compare; love is secure

Posted on February 17, 2012 by Abby| 4 Comments

By Faith Rawley

‘Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others; it is not self-seeking’ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

I think unknowingly whenever I have read this verse I have usually considered the traits of envy, jealousy and pride to be the worst of the ones described in this passage and I’d not easily admit to being envious or jealous, prideful or boasting…..is that proud to say?! But I do fall into the trap of comparing myself with other people a lot of the time and I’m starting to realise that actually comparison can be the root of these other traits.

I do look at other people and their situations often secretly wishing that I was more like them.  If only my body looked more like hers, if only I had the job that they do, had more money, a bigger house, newer clothes then I’d be happier.  Or even worse I look at people and say to myself, ‘well at least I’m not like them…’ (I’ll let you fill in the blanks of what might finish that sentence!)  Comparing ourselves starts us on the track of feeling envious of what another person has or it makes us boast in what we have compared to another person.

One area I started to notice that I was comparing myself to others was in the area of gifts in the church.  I would often look at other people’s gifts – the pastoral gift, the gift of song writing and the prophetic gift – and I wished that these came more naturally to me.  I felt second best because I didn’t have these more important seeming abilities.  I overlooked what God has gifted me with and didn’t value the unique gifts He had given to me.  Also because I saw certain gifts as more important than others, I devalued gifts that to me seemed to be less significant, like hospitality and serving and prayer, and I sometimes overlooked the people with these gifts.

By allowing God’s love to fill my heart and address the insecurities and wrong mind-sets I was able to find security in knowing that I am exactly the way He has made me to be.  In learning how to appreciate myself I started to appreciate the differences in other people as well.  I began to see that we each walk a different path through life…one way is not better or worse than another just different.

God’s love filling our hearts helps us to honour who we are and to honour who God has made others to be without feeling the need to compare ourselves.  If I could rewrite this verse I’d write it like this: ‘Love honours difference and does not compare; Love is secure.’  

 

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Posted in Faith Rawley, Focus Fridays, Love, Love, Power to change

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Love is Kind

Posted on February 10, 2012 by Abby| 3 Comments

By Kathi Kelly

Love is a verb, it must be done; kindness is an expression of this love that flows from the heart of the Father. God is love, God is kind.

“Love talked about is easily ignored but love demonstrated is irresistible.” Jim Mooney

Kindness speaks volumes. It opens doors; it breaks down walls; it builds others up and makes them feel appreciated and valued; it brings hope; it softens the heart and ministers to the soul; it can improve someone’s life for a moment, for a lifetime or anywhere in between.

Some people just seem to exude kindness; it comes so naturally to them. Others of us really have to work at it which takes effort, thought and intent. For me thoughtfulness and kindness go hand in hand.

There are many verses in the Bible that focus on kindness. It is from an understanding of the kindness that God has shown us that the same kindness can flow through us.

Psalm 145:17, “The Lord is righteous in everything he does; he is filled with kindness.”

Ephesians 1:7-8, “He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of His Son and forgave our sins. He has showered His kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.”

The Holy Spirit at work within us produces kindness and God commands us to show it to one another:

Proverbs 3:3, “Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart.”

Ephesians 4:32, “Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you.”

2 Timothy 2:24, “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, to be able to teach and be patient with difficult people.”

Wow, that last verse is quite a challenge! “Be kind to EVERYONE.”  How many of us can say that we’ve got that down? I’ve heard it said that it’s easier to be kind to strangers and that we can often neglect to show kindness to those closest to us. Others have said that it’s easiest to show kindness to their friends. One thing is clear; the kindness we are to show is inclusive of all people.

So what does kindness actually look like? Here are a few ideas – smiling at a stranger on the bus; encouraging someone with kind words; looking after a friend’s children (even when you already have a few of your own!) so that they can run an errand, work, or have some ‘me’ time; welcoming new neighbours with a plate of freshly baked biscuits; visiting a neighbour who is sick; cooking a meal for a family who have just had a baby; doing laundry for an elderly couple; arranging a surprise trip for your family; sending a care package to someone on mission in a faraway country or to a student who is away from home; taking time to pray with someone who is sick or in a difficult situation; paying for the petrol or coffee of the person behind you in the line; leaving love notes all over the house for your children or spouse; cooking a meal for your parents; cleaning the house of a very busy person; comforting someone who is bereaved. There are so many ways we can express the love and kindness of God, we just need to keep our eyes, ears and hearts open.

Will you pray this prayer with me today?

Thank you Father for your kind heart towards me and the ways that you express your love to me each day. Lord, help me to show your love and kindness to everyone that I come into contact with. Help me to live a life of kindness with the Holy Spirit helping me daily. Guide me and give me creative ideas of how to reach out to people, to see and meet their need or to just bless them, and when to do it. Help me to put others before myself and may kindness become more and more a part of who I am. Amen.

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Posted in Focus Fridays, Giving, Kathi Kelly, Love, Love

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Love is patient – really!

Posted on February 3, 2012 by Abby| 6 Comments

By Jenn Riegel

I think it’s kind of funny the way some believers get almost superstitious about asking God for patience – “oh, you know what happens when you pray for patience – God gives you plenty of opportunities to practice it!” But really, I think it’s like the quirky thing that happens when you like a certain thing and you start noticing it more throughout your day. There wasn’t an overnight influx, it’s just that you’re more aware of what’s always been there. Patience is the same way. It’s not that there’s suddenly more frustrating circumstances when we’re really wanting to be self-controlled and kind, we’re just much more aware of our impatience.

That’s a critical pivot in our understanding of the first characteristic of love. See, when we’re lacking patience – when we’re impatient, it’s because we had certain expectations about a person or situation that suddenly weren’t met. I expected my daughter to get ready for bed when I asked. She didn’t. My expectation wasn’t met, and now my patience has evaporated and I’m impatient. Very. I think “Seriously? Do we have to do this run-around every night?” I might even wonder if she’s a little “slow” that she hasn’t grasped this concept yet (what an ugly thought!) My expression changes, my voice changes, my posture changes. I might huff an annoyed sigh, walk a little heavier to show I really mean it – I’m annoyed!

Impatience, what love is not, affects our whole self – mind, body and spirit. It’s good and appropriate for me to set the standard that my daughter will obey and grow in learning to take care of herself and to do so in a timely manner. But if my expectation for her to meet that standard is disappointed, impatience flares up in the wake of those dashed expectations. In my impatience I do not love her well – inwardly or outwardly.

Impatience is a battle for your mind. It is a red flag, warning you to pay attention. When you’re impatient, ask yourself “What expectations do I have that are not being met?” And don’t stop there. “Is this expectation going to be met like I want it?” When the expectation is released, suddenly we find ourselves swimming in patience – in love.

I really don’t think it’s coincidence that Paul lists patience as the first distinction of what love IS. Because without patience – letting go of our expectations that can make us impatient – all other aspects of love are short-lived. Go down the list in 1 Corinthians 13 and consider what happens, how quickly we become unkind, rude, self-seeking, how easily provoked, how weak and impatient we are to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things and endure all things, when disappointed expectations are clutched on to and we become impatient. Patience – being able to let go of expectations that can make us impatient, is foundational to love.

When I consider this contrast of patience and impatience, I think of 2 Peter 3:9, “The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people’s conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance” (Amplified). We know that His patience extends far beyond our salvation. He is extraordinarily patient for us in the whole of our lives! He never once lowers His standard for us – sins paid for and a life being sanctified. How freeing and beautiful to know He is patient with me, and not impatient. Wow, what enduring love! When I really see and accept God’s patience for me, I see the way to let go of my expectations in any given circumstance and legitimately live in love that is lasting, because patience is finally found.

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Posted in Focus Fridays, Jenn Riegel, Love, Love

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