Category Archives: Family Life

Embrace the Season You’re In…

Posted on January 6, 2012 by Abby| 3 Comments

We are taking each Friday in January to focus on the theme of motherhood. Our first post is by guest writer, Kathi Kelly.

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I am so privileged to be writing this guest post today and pray that you will be blessed and encouraged.

Life is made up of seasons, and praise God for that as it would be pretty dull otherwise! As King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes: “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

I am a mum of three little ones ranging from 2-6 years old and since having my first baby I have gone through many different seasons – some physical, some emotional and some spiritual. The thing I have learnt (and I am still learning) is to embrace each season I find myself in and recognise that God is working on so many different levels through it. There have been many times where I have found myself thinking, and even saying, ‘this is not fair!’ Not fair when I can’t go out somewhere and have fun with friends because a poorly child needs looking after at home; not fair when I can’t join in fully with the worship time at church because my child is having a strop that morning; not fair when I don’t have enough time to look the way I used to before having kids. I’m sure you’ve got a list of your own ‘not fairs!’

As mothers I believe we have a high calling from God:

“You are as much serving God in looking after your own children and training them up in God’s fear, and minding the house, and making your household a church for God, as you would be if you had been called to lead an army to battle for the Lord of hosts.” Charles Spurgeon.

God has blessed us with our children and entrusted us to take care of them on this earth but our calling is more than that – we are to raise them according to God’s will and plan for their lives so that they become Kingdom-builders and nation-changers.

The seasons we go through are all for purpose, nothing is wasted in God’s economy. Seasons shape us and they shape our children. God’s blessing comes as we fully immerse ourselves in the season and devote ourselves to the high calling of being mothers. He will strengthen you; He will give you rest in your soul; He will encourage you and empower you to be the best mum that you can be.

Embracing the season we are in and not fighting it means that we make a conscious decision to be one hundred per cent there and to do everything for the glory of our Heavenly Father.

I love the recent song by Stephen Curtis Chapman, ‘Do Everything.’ I can certainly relate to the first verse:

You’re picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today
Matching up socks
Sweeping up lost cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip
Colour on your lips and head out the door
While I may not know you,
I bet I know you wonder sometimes, does it matter at all?
Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long
As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you,
‘Cause he made you,
To do every little thing that you do

To bring a smile to His face
Tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

This is what I am learning to do each day – to do even the boring mundane things for the glory of God. It’s an attitude of the heart. Your worship to God is changing your little one’s nappy, putting their socks on for the hundredth time in the day, waking up with them in the night and stroking their hair because they’ve had a bad dream, changing the bedding because they’ve been sick. God sees it all and He is at work in the little things and the big things. The time, effort and love we give and the sacrifices we make are all for eternal purpose and when we have that perspective it changes everything!

Kathi is blessed to be a wife to Mark and mum to three little ones. Along with her husband, she is part of the leadership team of City Church Leeds, UK. She enjoys serving her family and church community and loves making crafty things. She is having the adventure of her life and charts some of it at: threelittlearrows.blogspot.com.

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Thoughts on Motherhood

Posted on October 28, 2011 by Abby| 8 Comments

Amy Rathbun reflects on how the Lord is discipling her through the beautiful calling of motherhood…

I used to be at least 15 minutes early to everything.  I lived by my planner, religiously kept up with friends and family, always had vacuum-lines in my carpet, and wrote thank you cards in a timely manner.  I had daily devotions, memorized scripture, and a regular exercise routine.  Life was wonderfully organized and neat.  I loved it.  Many people have referred to me as “Monica” for some time now because apparently I have very similar characteristics to that of the character “Monica Geller” on the television series, “Friends”.  Or let’s just say I *had* these characteristics.

Well…  motherhood changes things.  I have been in a seemingly never-ending struggle to regain even the slightest bit of control of my life, to no avail.  After our first daughter (now 4.5 years old) was born, things changed a bit.  I was always tired, didn’t get to do all the things I wanted to do, but life was doable according to my somewhat obsessive-compulsive standards.  Then along came our little man, who will be three years old in a couple of months.  Things were much more challenging.  With two in diapers, and both completely dependent upon me for everything, I felt the grip on my uptight lifestyle loosening considerably.

Four months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful, happy little baby girl who has forever changed my life.  I have heard it said that adding a third is a “piece of cake” since the others grow a bit older and can often help out.  Well, I can’t agree with that in my experience.  I am totally outnumbered.  While I adore each of my sweet little blessings, I often find myself completely and totally overwhelmed at the messes they can create in a matter of seconds.  The mountain of laundry that ensues is really unbelievable.  The number of loaves of bread we now consume in a week is astounding!

Four months ago, I was finally faced with a choice.  I could choose to painfully cling to the comforts of a clean and tidy home and attempt to pursue rigorous organization, or I could choose to embrace this season of life and accept the beautiful chaos that comes from being blessed beyond my comprehension.

It took having three children for God to really show me that it is absolutely impossible to do anything without His grace, His strength, His wisdom, His mercy and His love.  I had come to fully realize my desperate need for God to help me through the day.  No longer was I able to pretend like I had it all together.  It was clear that even my attempts at outwardly having my “ducks in a row” were completely ineffective and my inward state was even worse. I needed someone Greater to help me endure without yielding to my own selfish desires.

Though I had studied the passage in John’s gospel where he talks about the vine and the branches many times before, it had finally started to take root in my life.  He says,

“Abide in me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”  -John 15:4-5

 I needed to let go of the things that I was clinging to so tightly. I realized that perpetually seeking order and neatness and feeling discontented whenever I was in the midst of a mess was really an outward sign of what was going on within me. I was stunting my own growth by being consumed by the idol of control in my life and in the lives of my children.  I needed to not only allow my Creator to craft the beauty in our household, but to sustain it as well.  Peace is not about the state of our circumstances, but the state of our hearts in the midst of those circumstances.  “For He himself is our Peace” (Eph. 2:14) and it is by abiding in Him and being deeply rooted in Him that we will have peace in our hearts and fruit in our lives.

I have since learned that “cleanliness is next to godliness” is nothing but a myth.  I no longer want to be characterized as “Monica”, but as a woman who abides in the Lord.

Amy Rathbun has been married to her best friend and the love of her life, Aaron, for 6 years. They have three adorably vivacious kiddos: Nevaeh (4), Justus (2) and Evangeline (4 months). They currently live in New Haven, Connecticut, USA, while Aaron is studying Philosophical Theology at Yale Divinity School. Amy holds both a BA and an MA in Education and is passionate about working with disadvantaged children. She enjoys playing with her kiddos, cinnamon lattes, good conversations, worshiping God, cloth diapering and a good pick-up soccer game.

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Posted in Family Life, Focus Fridays, Guest posts, Mentoring and Discipleship, Uncategorized

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Eating at the Grown Ups Table

Posted on May 23, 2011 by Abby| 4 Comments

By Sarah Lehman

For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant  Hebrews 5:13

Eighteen months ago I embarked on a journey of discovering the joy of food along with my son Elijah. I watched him go from milk to meat, vegetables, fruit and even the occasional ice cream. What I didn’t expect when I began this whole nurturing process was that God would show me so much about my own relationship with him through it.

First we had breastfeeding. How beautiful! How intimate! What an amazing time to just take each other in and study each other’s faces. I got to see the helplessness and beauty of Elijah as I watched him drink. He was able to see love, acceptance and provision from me as I let him drink from me as often as he had need (which turned out was very, very often). I loved just holding him and singing over him as he drank, often drinking himself to sleep.

But then time stretched on and he became bigger. He learned to crawl, to stand up and to walk. Something else was happening too. His needs were changing according to the new growth of his body and to his new activity level… all of a sudden he required more food… a different kind of food.  He needed more meat, vegetables, and grains. What an exciting time he had entered! Now I love to give him new foods, I love that I can be creative as I come up with something new to serve him, I love waiting to see the expression on his face as he eats what I put before him (or doesn’t eat depending on his mood).

The best part of Elijah eating solid food is this: my son can now sit up at the table and fellowship in a whole new way with my husband and me. When we were nursing it was very quiet with little dialogue. It was a good time to learn trust and closeness but not necessarily for me to share who I am or for me to find out who he is. It was a beautiful and intimate time, but much different from the time at our dinner table. I love how my son now joins in the conversation with my husband and I. When Tony and I laugh Elijah joins in, sinking back into his chair while putting a piece of cheese or fish into his mouth. I know it will get better as our family grows. Elijah will not only relate to us as parents but also fellowship with his brothers and sisters at the table.

If he had never stopped nursing, if he had continued only drinking milk, it would have not only stunted his growth physically and mentally, it would have stunted his relationship with his family.

Now, apply this all to your relationship with God. Being a baby in Christ is a wonderful time. We learn to drink the milk he gives us, we find out He is worthy of our trust and our dependency upon Him. However, there comes a time to “calm and quiet our souls, like weaned children” (Psalm 131:2). There is a time to come to God not as a hungry child just trying to be fed and then leave the room, but to be able to come to him as a humble child who wishes to really know her Father. To do this we must get past the point of drinking only milk and move on to more solid food.  We must be able to sit up at the banqueting table God has prepared for us and eat. EAT! EAT! There we can really enjoy the full spectrum of food that God provides.

How do we mature? How do we move on from just milk? It is pretty simple. We must gain knowledge of God as we dig into His Word. Really, really dig. We must long and desire for His Word as we ask the Holy Spirit to give us light in it. We need to learn to calm and quiet our spirits before Him and spend time in prayer…time in the Spirit. This is how we learn to eat meat.

So here’s to becoming full at the table of Christ, here’s to having a whole new level of fellowship with each other and, more importantly, with our Father, over some solid, soul food.

Thank you Jesus.

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God’s Peace

Posted on April 18, 2011 by Abby| 10 Comments

By Karri Nachtigal

“Karri, you have an emergency call in the office.  It’s your husband.”

“That’s weird” I thought to myself.  He had left for a trip the night before and was to be gone two weeks.  “Maybe they had car trouble?” I wondered.

Instead I learned that my 16-year-old daughter was on the way to the hospital in an ambulance.

Suddenly, there it was….PEACE…. I had clarity of mind of who to call to find out what had happened, and to make sure my other two children were taken care of.

I am directionally challenged.  I prayed “Show me the right way to get to the hospital.”  I hit all green lights on the way, as I drove, and even though I missed one exit, I was reminded of another route to take.  The whole time covered with PEACE.

John 14:27 – 28 “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do give to you.  Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”

Through everything (her surgery, the recovery, the fact that my husband couldn’t be with us), His peace stayed, my heart and mind were guarded against fear, worry, and anxiety.

After we were home, I was convicted of my thoughts about peace and how and when I asked for it.  For example, I knew that God would give me the peace and strength to get through this.  This was a “big moment” and I expected God to show up.   So why don’t I ask and use that same peace when my job, my laundry and/or the kids are feeling overwhelming?  What I realized is it came down to pride.   I believed I can and should do all those things by myself, but God wants to be a part of everything and every part of our lives.

Philippians 4:7  “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:7 doesn’t say … and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension in big moments… It states the peace of God will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  This peace is available at any moment, in any circumstance, to anyone.  The reason I didn’t experience it in the “little things” was because of me.  I chose to limit God’s peace, to tell Him when and where I could use it.  I will not make that choice again.

I am excited to use this new wisdom, this new choice and see God work His peace in ALL areas of my life, (including the laundry!!!)

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The Wife of Noble Character

Posted on April 6, 2011 by Abby| 3 Comments

By Micki Magee

This one’s for all those wives and mothers out there who, like me, find themselves often suffering from “mom guilt.” Those of you afflicted know exactly what that means. Don’t we all have moments when we don’t quite feel like we’re worth the rubies we’re supposed to be?

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

– Proverbs 31:10

There’s a lot on our shoulders, ladies, and I always struggle with this particular chapter in the bible, especially verse 12.

She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

– Proverbs 31:12

I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve, especially with my husband. I’m almost always forthcoming with what’s on my mind, never withholding my thoughts or hiding the truth. It’s often one of my virtues. I know that most of the time my husband appreciates the fact that I don’t play games, and he doesn’t have to guess what I’m thinking.

However, it can be a negative aspect of my character at times too. When I lose all sense of tact and feel that I have the right to criticize just because it’s my opinion, that’s sin. I know I often hurt my husband with this.

Some criticism is necessary. We help each other grow in Christ by gently correcting behavior we know to be sinful. But there are so many times when I go too far because I’m tired or frustrated or angry about something. I tear my husband down when I should be building him up. I shatter him when I should support. I criticize when I should praise. And then I get angry when my husband isn’t the strong, secure man of God that I need him to be as the head of our household.

Anyone else see something wrong with that picture?

Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you. For you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.

- Ecclesiastes 7:21-22

Proverbs 31 isn’t about being a good little wife, sitting quietly in submission while the world goes on without you, despite you. Look at versus 13-18. We women are given a lot of responsibility, sometimes overwhelmingly so!

She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

– Proverbs 31:13-18

It all goes so fast. Laundry-dishes-floors-bathroom-meals-naps-clothes-snacks-work-rides-daycare-bills-baths-bedtime wake up and do it all over again. Each day is spent picking up the messes and preparing for tomorrow. Nights are bed-at-midnight-sleep-an-hour-baby-fusses-soothe-him-sleep-an-hour-husband-snores-sleep-an-hour wake up at six and start again.

Mom or not, wife or not, a worldly life is a run-on sentence.

I rub my eyes, blink a few times, look around and suddenly my babies aren’t babies anymore. Life on this earth positively flies by, and I can see why God tells us that our time here is but a moment in his grand plan. It’s easy to get annoyed and frustrated when you’re tired, maybe fall into a pattern of not quite being a “wife of noble character”. We’re human.

But have faith! God has it all under control even when you feel very certain that you don’t!

She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”

- Proverbs 31:19-29

Did you read that, ladies? You surpass them all!

Remember this the next time you suffer from “mom guilt” when you’re certain you’ve fallen short of expectations. Even when you stumble and criticize your husband, or leave your home messy, or get too exhausted to do what you know you ought with your kids – even with your faults, your shortcomings, your sin – by your faith in God, you surpass them all!

There are a lot of descriptions of the “wife of noble character” in this chapter, but nowhere does it say we must be “perfect” to receive God’s grace. We don’t have to be beautifully done up with makeup every day, or have a house that’s spotless, or kids who are perfectly behaved. We strive for perfection, but are forgiven for where and when we fall short. (Thank God!)

Keep seeking truth, keep praying, keep following Jesus and God will reward you for the good, hard work you’ve done in his name.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

– Proverbs 31:30-31

You can buy Micki’s book, Secrets of a Fallen World, here.

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