By Alli Sullivan
In telling my discoveries I first want to talk a bit about a retreat I just went on. My youth group (ages 13 through 30-something) goes on this retreat each year focusing on the Spirit and letting Him do work in us to prepare for the upcoming year. It’s a beautiful thing. Every year.
This year we started our Saturday by taking a spiritual gifting test. I had never taken a test like this before and I was skeptical…and, honestly, slightly worried that I would be disappointed with the results. I always feel like I already know who I am, and I’m not that excited about it; I have this idea that I am someone who is loud, full of joy, confident and therefore I’m a leader, almost by default. I’m happy to fill those shoes, leading comes naturally to me and I love people! It’s the role I’ve always played in the church and it’s a wonderful thing!
We took the test and leadership was not even in my top five! I was kind of excited and a little bit concerned but more than anything I felt a big unexpected relief. Not to say that this test was the be all and end all to what I’m called to do but I didn’t see it coming that there were other roles that I could fill; I’ve just always been a leader. But this test opened my eyes to see that there was something that came even more naturally through who God made me to be. It wasn’t something that came naturally through continued expectations (even one’s put on myself) and familiarity, but it was something that came from my heart. It was so clear to me that this other gift, which turned out to be intercession, is a role that I am better suited to fill because of my true identity created by Christ.
The same sort of thing happened to Simon Peter, eh? Simon Peter? He’s just one of the twelve, right? He’s the guy who wavered as he stepped on the water, and denied Jesus, he’s just a regular guy trying his best…but here’s the thing about this guy: God had big plans for him. Regardless of all the ideas Peter had of himself, or what others’ perceptions of him were, God designed Peter for a purpose and planted it in his heart. This purpose was there from the beginning and God could see it in his heart. So Jesus called it out! Imagine being in that situation. Standing with your friends and Jesus saying,
“So I tell you, you are Peter. On this rock I will build my church, and the power of death will not be able to defeat it.”
(Matt 16:18)
…wow! I can only imagine the disciples were shocked and didn’t really know how to treat Peter after that had been said. Peter may have wished he could sink back into what he was more comfortable being but this is what God had for Peter. But that doesn’t matter, God looked into Peter’s heart and saw his true identity and declared over his life that he was called to big things. That’s the Peter God wants and the role Peter is designed to fill in the Body.
It is very satisfying to embrace the role God has for us! This identity rooted in who God has created me to be makes more sense than the way I had always perceived myself. It just feels right; it’s like setting down the puzzle piece that really belongs in the puzzle, not the counterfeit piece that leaves gaps. It’s the real deal and it’s satisfying!
And although it was a relief to discover I wasn’t confined by the role of leadership, it’s great to know that other people are strongest in leadership and that’s where they fit best! A friend of mine said she was thinking while she was taking the test that it would be great to be strong in all of the areas and wouldn’t she love to know someone who has every strength…but she does! It’s the Bride of Christ! The Bride of Christ has it all, which is why it is crucial that we know what role we have individually to avoid being in the awkward position of forcing ourselves into an empty space in a puzzle that we almost fit into, or that we could fill. We must do what we’re called to do, and we have to let God define it for us. Why? Because He knows the bigger picture; He knows our hearts through and through and knows exactly where he needs us to fill our place in His Bride.
“I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you…his incomparably great power for us who believe… God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 1:18-23
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